Jay Freaking Loves Christmas
by sunnyonminecraft
Summary: (Parody of Nostalgia Critic) When Skylar comes to visit for Christmas, what happens when she notices something off about Jay? INSANITY, of course! Will Jay go completely crazy, or will they be able to stop him! -Note: All credit goes to Nostalgia Critic and Lego. Rated T for a few obvious reasons-
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, Sunny here with my first parody! I wanted to do something that showed just how much I love Christmas, so my mind thought of the Nostalgia Critic's song from his review of"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **Let them read fanfiction!**

* * *

It was Christmastime at the Bounty. The tree was decorated, presents were wrapped, and old friends had come to visit. Both P.I.X.A.L and Skylar were there, having gotten off work at their jobs. Wu, Misako, and Garmadon had left for while so the ninja and Nya could catch up without interruptions. Everything was perfect...well, until the master of amber noticed something very unusual about a certain blue ninja.

"Jay, what is wrong with you?" Skylar asked.

"Whatever do you mean, Skylar?" Jay said. The usually energetic ninja was very calm and mellow and had the most fake-looking smile on his face. He seemed more like Zane than himself.

"That. You're not energetic at all. I'd thought at this time of year you'd be bouncing of the walls," she said. "What's going on?"

"We gave him a sedative patch," a voice rang out. Skylar turned and saw Kai standing in the doorway.

"You gave him a what?!" Skylar said, slightly shocked.

"A sedative patch," Lloyd said, coming from behind her. "Show her, Jay."

Jay turned around to show a huge blue patch stuck to the back of his neck. The words "Chill Pill Patch" were scrawled on it. Skylar just stared wide-eyed.

"Okay, one: Why are the words 'Chill Pill Patch' written on it? Second: why did you put the stupid thing on him to begin with?!" Skylar exclaimed.

Kai responded, "Well, you see, Jay has a bit of a creepy obsession with this particular holiday, and year after year, he has some sort of major overdose on it which creates a very frightening scene."

"And each year is worse than the last," Lloyd added.

"Normally we'd just let it run its course, but we didn't want you or P.I.X.A.L to spend your Christmas terrified. So, thanks to the connections we've got with Mr. Borg, we managed to get something to keep him from going completely insane," Kai finished.

"As for why it's written on, we have no idea," Lloyd said.

" _That_ would be my doing," Cole said as he walked into the living room. "I put it on there to just for laughs."

"Even though that is kinda funny," Skylar said, "does any one else think that what you are doing here is even creepier than this so-called 'obsession' of his?"

"No," all three responded without any hesitation.

Skylar raised an eyebrow. "Any of you?"

"No," they repeated.

Skylar was dumbfounded. "You've gotta be kidding," she said.

It was at that moment that Zane and P.I.X.A.L walked inside the Bounty. The two, not being bothered by the cold due to being robotic, had decided to go on a walk to get some "alone time." One could only imagine what "alone time" meant.

"Zane!" Skylar said.

"Hello, Skylar. Is something wrong? You look a little frustrated," he said.

"Are you aware that the rest of the guys put a sedative patch on Jay?!" she asked.

"Yes," he said simply.

Skylar blinked. "And you're okay with that?"

"Skylar, I was the one who purchased the patch."

Now Skylar was having a hard time believing that this was really happening. The others she could believe, but Zane?

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening and shutting. "Hey, guys, back from the store! Kai, I couldn't find any of those hot peppermints you like, but-"

"Nya!" Skylar called out.

Nya poked her head into the room. "Yeah?"

Skylar took a deep breath. "Please tell me that _you_ at least had nothing to do with that stupid sedative patch."

Nya blinked. "You do know that getting the patch was _my_ idea in the first place, right?"

She turned to P.I.X.A.L and gave her a _Can you believe this_ look. P.I.X.A.L gave a sigh. "They are not lying, Skylar. When I first heard of it, I was skeptical as well. But then Zane showed me last year's Christmas, and I understood."

"Hold on, you showed her _last year's_ Christmas?!" Cole said to Zane.

"Oh man, that one was bad," Lloyd shuddered.

"Dude, I thought you _liked_ her!" Kai exclaimed.

"She asked to see last year's!" Zane said.

"This is so wrong on so many levels," Skylar said.

Jay, who had been sitting and smiling quietly, just watching the whole scene unfold, finally said, "With all due respect, Skylar, the guys are right. This is for the best. Even though I would have liked to have traditional over-the-top reaction to Christmas this year, it should be calm, relaxing, and soothing."

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Skylar's left eye twitched slightly before she shouted, "Okay, I can't take it anymore! You shouldn't repress yourself during Christmas!"

Nya, with a very worried look on her face, said, "Skylar, you don't know what you're doing!"

Skylar ignored her. "You should be able to celebrate the way you want!"

"Skylar, we're warning you!" Kai said

"JAY, YOU'RE FREE! FREE!" Skylar said. And with that, she ripped off the patch.

Everyone's mouth dropped.

"SKYLAR!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"DO YOU NOT REALIZE THE PAIN YOU JUST UNLEASHED?!"

"AND HE'S BEEN HOLDING BACK FOR TWO WEEKS! THIS GONNA MAKE LAST YEAR LOOK LIKE AN OFFICE PARTY!"

Skylar turned her attention towards rest of the group, who were now thoroughly freaked out. "Guys, no one should have to hold back on Christmas. Christmas is about love, beauty and-"

But before she could finish her little speech, some one turned her around. What she saw was Jay, now wearing a red mohawk and a red and green suit, face painted white with two Christmas ornaments on his cheeks and Christmas trees around his eyes. He looked liked a heavy metal singer if all his songs were Christmas themed.

If that were not enough, the living room was completely black with a single spotlight shining on Jay. Heavy metal music started to play, and Jay sang out.

 _I'm filled with Christmas chocolate,_

 _I don't know what it is but it's hot_

Skylar and the others could do nothing but look on, utterly terrified.

 _It's like Heaven's nectar_

 _Inside an oatmeal-cookie shot._

Another light came out of nowhere to reveal a random floating Santa hat near Jay.

 _And when I put my Santa hat on_

 _It's a needle full of Christmas glee!_

At that lyric, Jay had pulled out a needle full of red liquid and injected it in his arm, causing the others to cringe. Then, the lighting changed to reveal that the living room was gone and was replaced with an outdoor scenery with a black sky. Lace came out of nowhere and swirled around the master of lightning.

 _Coating my house in frilly crap_

 _And Disney's trademark intellectual property_

At the sound of thunder, the group bolted, only to be chased by Jay.

 _Cause it's snowing,_

 _I love shopping,_

 _And I freafreafreafreafreafreaking love Christmas!_

Jay took a detour to stop at a nearby house that had lights to make it look like it was a singing angry face.

 _Setting up the lights_

 _So my FREAKING HOUSE SINGS_

 _Cause I'm freafreafreafreafreafreaking crazy about Christmas!_

He then went back to chasing the group. Even though he was skipping in some sort of demonic fashion, he could still keep up with them rather easily.

 _If Christmas was living I'd hug it to death,_

 _And then consume its body for its Christmas breath!_

Jay stopped chasing the poor terrified group for a minute to continue his delusional rampage with explosions coming out of the blue.

 _Cause it's growing,_

 _I'M NOT STOPPING!_

 _And I FREAFREAFREAFREAFREAFREAKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!_

The group had stopped behind a random Christmas tree to hide, which proved to be a mistake. As soon as they turned around, there was Santa Claus holding an electric guitar. Jay popped up in front him.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SANTA CLAUS ON THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!" he announced.

At that, Santa let loose a rather impressive solo. The group might have enjoyed a little had they had not of been so scared.

Jay appeared right next to them.

"APPLAUD! APPLAUD, DANG IT! HE GIVES PRESENTS TO THE WORLD!" he screeched, pointing all the while.

This prompted the group to start running again. In the nick of time, too, because yet another explosion happened, leaving Jay standing next to Santa, continuing his terrifying chant.

 _I'll buy all things red and green,_

 _Accumulating thousands in debt_

The group, still running, were cut off yet again-this time by a giant gingerbread man. It looked down at them and said, "You cannot beat us." Kai let out a high-pitched scream and ran the other direction, followed by the others.

 _I'll let it ruin my life,_

 _Making it the best Christmas yet!_

There was another explosion behind the group, causing them to turn around. There was Jay, with the guitar-playing Santa, standing on top of a Christmas tree. No one questioned how they were staying up there so easily. The only thought on they're minds was how to stop this madness.

 _And I'll play those Christmas carols_

 _Until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer_

Jay turned his head to the side at that lyric to reveal that his ears were indeed bleeding. The group didn't run, but only because they were frozen with terror.

 _It'll scared the crap outta you,_

 _But it's only getting bigger every year!_

Thegroup heard a screech behind them. They turned and saw Jay, down from the tree and now as a snowman, with only his head normal. That got them out of their frozen state, and they took off running again, with Jay (of course) chasing them.

 _Cause it's snowing,_

 _I love shopping,_

 _And I freafreafreafreafreafreaking love Christmas!_

Jay stopped again at what looked like a stop-motion reindeer and elf and decided to destroy the entire scene they were in.

 _I love those stop-motion specials_

 _That scare that crap outta me,_

 _And I freafreafreafreafreafreaking love Christmas!_

The group, noticing that Jay had stopped chasing them, looked on while he stood under a shower of brown liquid.

 _I bathe in hot chocolate 'till my skin is red,_

 _And I quote_ Christmas Story _'TILL YOUR SOUL IS DEAD!_

It was at that lyric Jay' s position had changed and he was right next to the others, holding a BB gun. The group starting running away...AGAIN. Jay, on the other hand, had gone from holding a gun to in a sleigh being pulled by...multiple himselves.

 _Cause I'm soaking_

 _In sweet toppings_

 _And I FREAFREAFREAFREAFREAFREAKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!_

Jay yet again teleported away to the front of a computer. On the screen were yet two more of him dancing in front of _Sears._

 _And the deals_

 _And the meals_

 _And the veals_

 _And the steals_

 _And the_ Seeeeeeeaaarsssss.

 _Keep it longer_

 _Make it stronger_

 _Nothing's wrong here_

 _I can stay here all yeeeeeeaarrr_

Kai took this as an opportunity to talk to Skylar. "So, now do you believe me?" he asked.

Skylar looked him straight in the eye. "I will _never_ doubt you ag-AHHHHHHHHH!"

Much to their terror, Jay had started chasing them again-this time by floating above them with Santa not far behind.

 _I'm gone crazy_

 _Feeling lazy_

 _Somethings tasty_

 _At the_ Macy's _downtoooooowwwwwnnnnnn_

Jay landed in front of the group.

 _Getting higher_

 _Feeling wired_

 _I'm inspired_

 _I'm on fire right noooooooowwwww_

And so he was. The group screamed and ran in the other direction, only to discover that the scene had changed once again. This time it was red with price tags floating around.

 _I love the over-marketing for making dabloons_

 _By the way, the song is on Youtube_

The scene changed back to the outdoor scene where the worst part came. Jay had grown to at least three stories high and was walking around in a manner that reminded them remarkably like the abominable snowman from _Rudolph._

 _I wanna smash it open 'till it's dead and cold_

 _And then search its brains for its Christmas gold_

 _And then drink its blood 'till I lose control_

 _And the Christmas madness will take its toll._

Then the music suddenly stopped. Jay bent down and took something off his leg- a dart. He shrugged, then fell flat on his face.

They were all finally back in the Bounty living room. Cole, Zane, and Lloyd were hyperventilating, Nya was trembling, Skylar was clutching on so desperately to Kai, and P.I.X.A.L was holding a pistol that was pointed where Jay was once standing. She had been the one to stop him.

She turned to look at Skylar. "Don't ever freaking do that again!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry!" Skylar responded.

P.I.X.A.L put the gun away from Jay. "What he has is a sickness," she stated. "One that can only be treated with repression," she cocked the gun, "and tranquilizers."

Skylar shuddered. "Yeah, that was freaking scary!"

Unfortunately, the tranquilizer didn't knock him out completely, and he began singing in a much softer and calmer voice.

 _It's snowing_

 _I love shopping_

 _And I frea-frea-frea-frea-frea-freaking love Christmas_

Kai made a hand motion signaling everyone to get out of room. "We need to get him another patch before he comes to," he said. The others nodded and started out of the room.

 _Enough to build tranquilizer immunity_

 _Yeah, I frea-frea-frea-frea-frea-freaking love Christmas_

Lloyd stopped at that. "Wait a minute," he said. "What did he say?"

And just lime that, the room was black again, this time with explosions allaround. Jay had gotten up, and was singing in the same way he had for most of the song.

 _I'll kill anyone that's celebrating with me_

 _Your resistance is feeding my insanity_

 _Cause it's snowing_

 _I love shopping_

 _So put the star on top of the tree_

 _And buy me a freaking T.V_

 _WE'RE GOING ON A SHOPPING SPREE_

 _MY STOCKING'S FULL OF DVDS_

 _MY HEART IS FILLING UP WITH GLEE_

 _CAN'T HELP WHAT'S COMING OVER ME_

 _I FREAFREAFREAFREAFREAFREAKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!_

And with that, Jay's rampage finally stopped and he let out a sigh. "Wow, I do feel better. Thanks so much, Skylar," he said and walked towards the kitchen. The redhead gave no reply, for she like the others, was too freaked out to speak. They all just stayed there, too scared to move.

They heard Jay's voice from the kitchen. "Oh, hey Sensai!"

A moment of silence followed, then Wu, Misako, and Garmadon all walked into the living room.

Wu spoke up. "Alright, who took off Jay's patch?"

"Skylar did!"

And that was the last thing Sklar remembered before blacking out.

* * *

 **Well, that was fun.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed this little piece of Christmas randomness! All credit for both the song and set-up goes to the Nostalgia Critic. If you want to see the original video, go watch his review of "Grandma got Run Over By a Reindeer." (Which, btw, is hilarious.)**

 **I'm Sunnyonminecraft! MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


	2. This Years Disaster

_**Hey, guys, it's me, Sunny! I couldn't help but miss working on this funny little one-shot, so I decided to give it a follow-up! This was based on the beginning of the Nostalgia Critic's review of We Wish You a Turtle Christmas, which, btw, is amazing and I highly recommend it.**_

 _ **Anyway, onward!**_

* * *

Skylar walked up onto the Bounty's deck, happily sipping her Peppermint Mocha.

"Ah, the first week of December!" she said. "I'm so excited I decided to announce that to myself."

Her enthusiasm was short-lived.

The door of the Bounty swung open, and the ninja and P.I.X.A.L all ran out. Kai stopped for a minute to lock the door behind them.

 _"Run,"_ he told her.

Skylar was taken back. "Why? Wh-what's going on?"

"There's no time to explain, just run," he said, eyes wide.

"Seriously, Kai, what's-" she started, but was interrupting by the Bounty shaking. She heard the sound of wood breaking.

"Ah! There's no time! Flee, woman! Flee!" Kai shrieked.

They both ran down the Bounty as fast as they could. They got off in just enough time to see the horror unfolding.

Jay had grown to an enormous size. His head had broken right through the Bounty floor and was now sticking out for everyone to see.

With a disturbing smile on his face, he slowly turned his head towards the group, who were frozen in shock.

 _"CHRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSTMMMMMMMMMAAAASSSSSSSSS,"_ he said.

A huge explosion went off, enveloping all of Ninjago. Everything was destroyed-not a soul was standing.

The only person left was Jay, who stood in the middle of all the destruction, without a scratch on him. He smiled gleefully.

"Hehe...I finally did it. I let my...love of Christmas destroy the world," he chuckled. "I always knew this day would come."

He stood there silently for a few moments, until another sound was heard.

 _"SERIOUSLY, JAY!"_

Jay turned around to see his friends, only they weren't quite...alive.

They were all now ghosts, and all of them had different hues. Cole was back to dark green, Nya was navy blue, Kai was red, Skylar was orange, Lloyd was grassy green, Zane was light cyan, and P.I.X.A.L was purple.

"I literally just got turned back into a human a month ago! Now I'm back to a freaking ghost!" Cole wailed.

"Hey! You're not the only one, Cole!" Lloyd barked. "We're all ghosts now, too!"

"I told all of you we should've put the patch on immediately after Thanksgiving!" Zane said.

"I didn't think things could be worse than last year, but...they did!" Nya moaned.

Skylar sighed. "I hate Christmas."


End file.
